The beginning of the semester is always filled with ambivalency. Not ambiguity, mind you, but ambivalency, a simultaneous desire to say or do-or simultaneous feelings of-two opposite or conflicting things. I start off a semester sad to be leaving six weeks of unstructured time. I start feeling relieved to have some order to my days. I look forward to taking better care of myself. I miss the freedom of indulging, though not the accompanying gastrointestinal distress. It's all in the balance between the two opposing pulls.
I'm still struggling to balance structure and freedom, self-care and regimen. But if no other meal of the day is quite right, my breakfasts so far have still been. Yesterday and today have started off with some sautéed Cajun Grain and frozen spinach, topped with coconut oil, cracked black pepper, and red Hawaiian salt. This meal has required a few cups of bright green Umegashima sencha to get me out of bed and at the desk on time.
finesse and results in a fair bit of clutter and haphazard green-tea rings on my counter, I can sometimes find pleasure in the simple task of cleaning up after a good meal. Besides, it's almost meditative to assist in the transformation from chaos to order and somewhat aesthetically pleasing to see all the dishes lined up after their wash. And that second brew of sencha feels all the more deserved.
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